tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2817577426851200060.post4706674156659747882..comments2024-02-22T03:29:48.206-05:00Comments on Chronic Migraine Ellie: Is Illness-splaining a thing?chronicmigraineelliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04574747636181195475noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2817577426851200060.post-52263632194534794192017-02-20T08:26:57.982-05:002017-02-20T08:26:57.982-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Adelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11080238063291482839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2817577426851200060.post-50641465797125584612017-01-23T01:45:46.902-05:002017-01-23T01:45:46.902-05:00Oh my gosh, YES! Thank you for writing this (and t...Oh my gosh, YES! Thank you for writing this (and thank The Mighty for publishing it! As a migraine sufferer, I (literally) feel your pain, but even beyond that, this thinking extends into so many other situations, as well! In the front of my brain is the experience of being a mother of two mentally ill children. Even the most insightful and intelligent of people make assumptions that suggest my poor parenting is what is at the root of their depression, anxiety, ADHD. "You just need to be more consistent." "You just need to be more flexible." Stricter. Gentler. More attentive. Less hovering. "Have you tried...?" the answer to every one of those questions is YES, I've tried it all, spent thousands upon thousands of dollars and hours learning about, researching, and trying every damn thing the experts have come up with to alleviate my childrens' pain and by extension, my own. Some things have helped. Some things made the situation worse. Some things helped until they suddenly didn't help anymore. Any "solution " a layperson with no full understanding of a complex set of circumstances can come up with after 5 minutes - or less - of thought is something, believe it or not, I also thought of many years ago, with the same amount of mental effort you just put into the problem. Only I've been living it, all day and every night, for those years since that same brilliant solution and millions of others entered my mind as well. As you suggest in this article, real, researched, evidence-based therapies and theories are welcomed with open arms. Junk science is not helpful. Arrogant blanket assumptions that those living with hidden illnesses (or their care-givers) are at fault for their own suffering, or are failing to see the obvious, are not helpful. Validation, support, and humility - those are helpful, and in vastly short supply.UltraLightningBabehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14067107333346640950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2817577426851200060.post-38186361878190452412017-01-13T13:46:52.445-05:002017-01-13T13:46:52.445-05:00Actually, this is a good "consciousness raise...Actually, this is a good "consciousness raiser" for many situations - I'm Thinking about it more broadly as someone much older, more experienced, supposedly a caring, sensitive person and wiser, etc. etc. etc. With the best of intentions, I hear so many of my peers trying to be helpful and supportive as we deal with changes, disappointments, illnesses and, in particular loss !! Time to give this more thought . . .- -Joan Rosenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10470027474035939867noreply@blogger.com